Small Groups and New City
December 2004 by Pastor Nabors |
I just came back from visiting one of our members who is in the hospital. She said something that caused me both to be thankful, and to be mindful of how some in our church could not say what she said. Her comment was that the members of her Small Group had res-ponded so wonderfully to her situation. They found out about her need, they prayed, they communicated their concern and love for her, and they did things for her. This was an encouragement to her and made her feel good about being part of New City Fellowship.
So I am glad for her, and proud of the members of her Small Group. Praise the Lord when the Church acts like the Church ought to act. I realize, however, that some of our members, and even more of those who attend faithfully, are not in a Small Group. Some of you could become sick and no one would know. Some of you could lose someone you love in death, even your spouse or a child, and no one at New City would know. Even if we did find out not many of us would know who you are, and so there wouldn't seem to be a lot of response.
It just makes me feel so bad when I find out one of our members has been sick, shut-in, in hard times, and absent, and hardly anyone has noticed and no one has surrounded that person with love and care. It used to make me feel terribly guilty as a pastor that I had failed to know everything that was happening to everybody, and that I wasn't controlling the action so that everyone was being loved. Not only have I felt guilty, but those who have felt like they didn't get enough from the church in their time of need have sometimes personally blamed me, or the church as a whole. I don't waste as much time with guilt as I used to, since I have learned a little bit more of how a larger church must take care of its own.
I confess that I am inadequate for this job. I have a great staff, with ten full time employees and at least 8 part-time employees. All of us together are inadequate to take care of everybody, all the time, for everything. So, I want to discuss this issue with all of you a little bit. I want to point out some realities, and make some suggestions, and give some encouragement and challenges.
The reality is that if you are not in some kind of group or network of believers and members here at New City, you will not receive adequate Pastoral Care. The reality is that if you decide not to be in such a Small Group or network, you will not get Pastoral Care. Now some folks don't even get the chance to decide; their circumstances prohibit them from being active in a group. These folks, their families, and their friends, all should take the responsibility of calling on the pastors to pay special attention to them.
None of the pastors mind being reminded that someone needs a visit, a call, a letter, or some kind of personal attention. We especially love it when someone volunteers to go with us to visit someone who needs some care. The pastors will usually make appointments with anyone who asks for counseling, prayer, or guidance. We are not mind readers; we don't know about everyone's situation, and we don't remember everything either. We also know that many people simply don't take advantage of the one thing this church does offer in terms of accountability, discipleship, and love-Small Groups.
If each person who attended New City were in some kind of group, whether it be a weekly Small Group, prayer group, Bible Study, accountability group, or ministry that produces interaction and fellowship, all of our people would be better off. If you are part of a group, and you love the members of your group, you are going to get loved back. If something happens to you and you need support, and you have been active in a group, that group will rise to help you, and they will get the word out to the rest of us.
If you isolate yourself, decide you don't need other people, and just come to worship on Sundays, you are not going to get the help you need when you need it. You have got to take the risk of meeting new folk. You have got to be humble enough to submit yourself to the fellowship of others.
Some groups are better than others. Some groups have better leadership than others do. Here are some ideas for you: pray for more leaders to lead groups, pray about being one of those leaders. Pray for more groups, of different kinds, in different places. Pray about changing your group if you feel you are not connecting or able to make a connection. Remember the group is not all about you, don't seek to dominate the group with your problems. If you realize you do most of the talking, pray that God will help you to keep your mouth shut and listen more often. Support and encourage the leadership of your group. Ask God to help you to develop the personal discipline to be faithful to your group.
Pray for the spirituality of your group. If it tends toward gossip, running down others in the church or the church itself, call it to repentance. If it is not taking care of its members, call it to faithfulness. Be humble about it; be patient; be an example. I wish everyone at New City had the testimony that when they had trouble, their Small Group was there to help them. I would feel a lot less guilty about how I am doing as a pastor if I heard that most of the time.
-Pastor Randy Nabors |
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